


Birdbrain

by out_of_the_woodsyet



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Dirty Talk, Hate Sex, Interspecies Sex, M/M, Mute Link, also idk how old link is in breath of the wild but here he's an adult, but it's a rito so like it's fine, pre-Ganon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 20:12:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_of_the_woodsyet/pseuds/out_of_the_woodsyet
Summary: Revali, the Rito Champion, is without a doubt the most self-centered person Link has ever met. He’s arrogant to the point of being unbearable, but for a reason neither Link nor the goddess above can explain, Link finds Revali overwhelmingly attractive. Will Revali ever be impressed by Link and his, erm, swordsmanship? Only time will tell…





	Birdbrain

Having spent countless hours training and talking with all of the four Champions of Hyrule, Link was certain that there could be no better team assembled under the sky. They were skilled, determined, selfless… well, mostly selfless, with one exception: Revali. 

Revali was without a doubt one of the oddest people Link had ever encountered. He was right to have been chosen to represent the Rito, that was without a doubt, but while Urbosa, Mipha, and Daruk had accepted their titles with humility and grace, Revali seemed to think his status gave him free reign to consider himself the best out of the five of them, even above Link himself. 

At first Link took Revali’s comments as something done in jest between warriors, but Link’s patience wore thin as Revali made it painfully aware that he was not now nor would he ever be impressed by Link and his “little sword.” The snide comments, the side-glances, the way Revali gave a little “hmph” at the sight of him; there was no denying that Revali saw himself as the cock of the walk, with the people around him no more than minor players in the great stage play of his life. 

As if that snobbishness wasn’t bad enough, Revali was so committed to verbally preening himself that he failed to notice, over the months and months that the two had known each other, that Link was incapable of speaking. 

Urbosa had told Link that she and Revali had had several conversations where the Rito champion made note of Link’s lack of words, and how Revali clearly saw it as Link being star-struck rather than literally, physically being mute. 

“Sometimes I wonder if he hears others speaking at all,” Urbosa said to Link when she shared this with him, “or if he merely waits for the next moment when he can start yapping again.” 

After that conversation, Link could only think of one word to define the Rito Champion, despite all of his positive qualities: Birdbrain. 

Revali was a well-spoken, self-centered snob, but for no discernable reason, Link found himself overwhelmingly attracted to him. Was he into people who talked down to him? Did he have a thing for Rito? Was it some primal need for hate-fucking? Link wasn’t sure, but the more time he spent with his arrogant friend the more drawn to him he felt. 

One day the two were training together in the woods south of Rito Village. Their session was ostensibly an attempt to help Revali with his swordsmanship, as he generally favored a bow and wanted to master other weapons, but as their dueling progressed it became a long-form criticism of everything Link had ever done in his life. 

“Look at the way you prance around, like a little fledgling!” Revali was saying while Link was trying to concentrate on shield etiquette. “Perhaps if you’d spent your knight training practicing your footwork, then you would be as skilled in a duel as I am in flight!”

The Rito champion continued boasting about himself, and in spite of his searing frustration Link felt himself getting hot and bothered. Seriously, was he developing some sort of fetish for being verbally abused? 

As Revali’s sword swings became less and less precise his insults were growing more and more juvenile. “I’m surprised your little stick arms can hold that sword at all!” He was saying, swinging his sword in every direction in an attempt to swat away any of Link’s advances. “Can our fearless leader really be this petite?” Just to make him mad, Link jabbed his sword so hard into Revali’s kite shield that it cracked in half.

“You know, your instruction leaves much to be desired,” Revali spat, his ego wounded beyond repair. “You would be far more helpful if you offered more verbal instruction.”

Rage surged through Link’s body. He threw his sword on the ground along with his shield. Sternly, slowly, Link signed: “ME. MUTE.”

Revali blinked, seemingly with no change in mood. For almost a fraction of a second, Link believed that he might have actually gotten through to the birdbrain before him, until he opened his beak and asked, clearly irritated: “What are you flapping for? I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”

Link kicked a leg in the air then doubled over. Revali was the biggest goddess-damned idiot he had ever met in his life. Sweating and frustrated, Link unbuckled his belts and threw them on the ground before furiously pulled his shirt and tunic up and over his head. He was done trying to work with this so-called champion, done sweating buckets to try and train any sense or form into a person who thought they knew it all. Birdbrain, birdbrain, birdbrain--!

“Ah, I see!” Revali said, casting his bow aside and removing his stylish champion’s scarf. “You’re dumb-struck by my beauty! Very well!” 

Revali continued to undress and Link could only stare at him in shock. Link had taken off his shirt because he was sweaty, and sure he was oddly attracted to Revali, but he hadn’t meant to start something right here and now. But no, Link realized, of course Revali is so self-absorbed that he thinks everyone wants to have sex with him. He just got lucky this time; Link wondered how many times this idiot had started undressing in a situation where he had been wrong. 

You are the biggest idiot in all of Hyrule, Link wanted to scream as he pulled off his boots. And I’m going to fuck that bird brain right out of your skull. 

When Revali was fully nude--which didn’t take long, as Rito did not dress as thoroughly as Hylians--he spread his wings and puffed his chest out. “Think you can handle this, Mr. Hero?” he taunted, and in response Link untied his pants string and flung his waistline to the ground. He was already halfway erect, as if all the sense and insults he wished he could relay to Revali were forming an angry pool in his penis. 

Revali inspected Link, whos muscles were glistening in the sun, and gave him little “humph.” “Better than I thought,” he said. “Let’s see what you can do with that sword.” 

With a swift swipe of his massive wing, Revali scooped Link close to him. He dipped Link backwards in a dramatic kiss. It was odd for both of them, one of them used to lips, the other not, but when their tongues met they started to improvise. Revali worked his mouth down to Link’s neck, nuzzling and licking skin softer than he had ever experienced. When he started doing what Link liked, Link began scratching his nails against the keratin of Revali’s beak. At this Revali’s piercing green eyes turned to slits, and Link could hear the Rito moaning happily. 

The pair went to the ground, Link pinned under his winged companion, but not for long. They rolled in the dirt, kissing, licking, biting, covered in sweat and grime. This was wrong. This was dirty. This was amazing. 

Tell me I’m a piece of shit, Link wanted to say. Call me garbage.

“You’ll need to do more than this to impress me,” Revali panted, much to Link’s delight. “I doubt you can please me.”

Link bit Revali’s neck, who let out a long OOOH.

“You haven’t got what it takes!” Revali taunted. He reached one hand between his legs to grab Link by the balls, tugging him closer, fondling and findling, driving Link wild. “Sheath your sword if you think you have the guts!”

With help from Revali, Link parted his plumage to reveal a very pink cloaca, a striking contrast to the stark white feathers around it.

“What do you think, Mr. Hero?” Revali goaded,releasing his balls but wrapping one leg around Link’s neck to beckon him closer. “I bet your little sword won’t last five minutes.”

Link smirked, Revali went “humph,” and as Revali bit Link’s neck Link thrust inside.

Link pumped again and again, and when he looked at Revali, who for a moment had thrown his head back in sexual bliss, he couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Goddess he had never dreamed Revali would accept him, would be this warm, would make him this randy. His clarity of thought diminished as he thrust harder and harder, as his arousal grew with every slander from his partner. 

“Is that all you’ve got, Hero?” Revali shouted in his face. “You think you’re man enough for ME? I can barely feel you in there!”

While Link shouted in anger and bliss, both of Revali’s reptilian legs wrapped around Link’s body, driving him further inside and trapping him in a cocoon of sweat and feathers. Link thrust faster and faster, his face growing red, his knees etching themselves deeper and deeper into the dirt. Half of Revali’s squawks were of pleasure, the other half taunting Link, daring him to keep it up. Link bit Revali’s beak. Revali screamed. 

Revali’s taunts became less and less comprehendable until suddenly he let out a noise of such delight and rapture that Link was pulled forward as Revali fell completely onto his back. A rush of liquid splattered against Link’s pubes and balls, and Link threw his head back, victorious. 

Link wondered if Revali’s pride was wounded by coming first, but whatever was going on inside the champion’s head was masked by his usual bravado in a matter of seconds. 

“Not bad,” Revali said He was having difficulty catching his breath, his usually well-groomed feathers were sticking out in every direction, but Link could tell he would be damned before he lost his cool in front of Link. “But I see you still have a ways to go.” Revali opened his beak to reveal his muscular, worm-like tongue. He traced the edges of his mouth with it, the saliva glistening in the midday sun. “Now how about I return the favor?”

Link felt a sudden pulse of blood jump to his erection. Panting, he nodded. 

The pair separated and prepared themselves for the next round of fucking. Link had taken control last time, and by the look of determination in Revali’s eyes Link was sure Revali had more than one idea about what “returning the favor” entailed. 

Revali turned Link around and bent him over, clasping Link’s erection in one hand and massaging his ass with the other. Link propped himself up on his elbows. He had been close to coming along with Revali a moment ago, but now he was determined to last as long as possible. He wanted to be tormented, and he wanted Revali to do it.

Still chastising him, Revali teased Link’s anus with his fingers. Link felt the concentration of blood flow change, and he felt woozy and elated, the lack of blood going to his head giving him a temporary high. Still teasing, still mocking him, Revali pressed his tongue just behind Link’s balls to stimulate his prostate from the outside. He pushed harder and harder, Link was panting and moaning, drooling and whining. In spite of himself Link thrust has ass at Revali, begging for insertion. 

Bent in half, ass in the air, Link felt Revali’s tongue tracing his anus, teasing him. Link whimpered, begging Revali to go in. 

“You aren’t ready for what I have in store for you, little man,” Revali taunted. 

Oh yes I fucking am, Link wanted to shout.

The feeling of Revali’s tongue as is slithered into Link was pure ecstasy. The tapered shape along with Revali’s in and out motion tugged on Link’s insides, widening him, readying him each time for more and more and more. The pure muscle of the organ bulged and pulsated as it worked itself deeper and deeper inside of him, toying with him, satisfying him. As Revali’s tongue pushed against Link’s prostate he felt his body convulse in a rush of pleasure. He thought that if he became any more aroused his whole body would explode. The top of Revali’s beak was scratching Link’s lower back, and Link could feel the tip of his penis rubbing on the inside of Revali’s mouth. Saliva dripping from Revali’s mouth onto Link’s balls. It felt like the Rito was trying to swallow him whole. 

“Ahh, AHHH!” Link felt the tension inside him become almost unbearable, and when he felt like he might faint, Link came, spurting cum into the grass beneath him. 

Gasping for air, Link rest his forehead on the ground. Revali’s tongue was no longer thrusting, but was now more gentle, almost playful, a perfect transition from fuking to afterplay. It was then that Link noticed that Revali, despite having his tongue deep inside Link’s ass, was still fucking talking. He was incomprehensible, but at this point Link didn’t mind anymore. He didn’t have the energy to do anything but orgasm here in the grass, on his elbows and knees, covered in dirt and sweat and fluids. 

When Link was fully relaxed he pulled away and Revali pulled out. Link went straight from where he was kneeling to lay on his stomach, and he watched Revali lie on his back beside him. 

“So much stamina in such a scrawny little thing,” Revali said, “though I have some notes on improving your form.” 

Link chuckled, not in response but knowing that a comment like that was acceptable pillow talk to Revali. 

“Do you have any tips for me?” Revali asked, most likely hoping for compliments, but at the moment Link was in a good enough mood to finally spell it out for Revali that he was mute. 

To make it as simple as possible, he didn’t use sign language, but more simple gestures: he touched his throat to indicate his voice, and then shook his head.

Revali blinked. “You can’t speak?”

Link nodded. 

Revali’s eyes narrowed. “You’re mute? Really? I could have sworn I’ve heard you speak.”

Link shook his head, and then, to show there were no hard feelings, he planted a small kiss on Revali’s beak. Revali nuzzled him back, and gave a little “hmph.” He then spread his wing and nodded to the space in his arms, where Link gladly went. In a stupor of post-sex euphoria, cradled in a nest of his lover’s feathers, Link fell asleep, all while Revali continued to boast about himself.

Birdbrain, Link thought as he slipped into sleep. Stupid birdbrain…


End file.
